For the past two days, I’ve been telling all my co-workers to “Sweep the Leg” as in: 

“You think your no good boyfriend is two-timing you with some skank Ho he met on Facebook?” 

“Uh-huh.”  

“Why put up with it? Sweep the leg, dawg.  Sweep the leg!”  

Okay, I might have ghettofied that conversation for no apparent reason other than I can.  The point is, I’ve been poking everyone in the elbow and telling them to “Sweep the Leg.”   Naturally, all I get in return are blank stares as friends, family, and co-workers alike collectively scratch their scalps, no doubt baffled by this week’s whatthefuckery. 

Sweep the leg=show no mercy. 
The phrase is derived from the greatest ’80’s teen flick of all time: The Karate Kid. 

Coined by this man:

The evil Cobra Kai sensei…

To this skeleton-suit donning douche bag (Who I always thought was kinda hot. God help me, I have an affinity for assholes. And I just realized that sounds so wrong on so many levels): 

To take out Daniel-sans’ injured leg.  

Little did he know, Daniel-sans’ got a secret weapon…

The deadliest art of the Orient: Preying Mantis.  

He only needs one leg, you dirty Cobra-Kai bastards!

I’m trying to bring “Sweep the Leg” back into usage. If you’re reading this, you should find a creative way to tell someone you know in real life to “Sweep the Leg.”   You’ll feel self-important afterward.  Like you made a difference.  Like you had a hand in the creation of the ultimate cool.  

For those of you who have never seen The Karate Kid. For shame! Here is “Sweep the Leg” in action. Watch it. Learn from it.  

An aside: I can’t stop staring at Evil Sensei’s chin dimple. I want to stick my finger in it and wiggle wiggle. He’ll likely snap my finger like the sapling twig of a bonsai tree, but it’ll be worth it. Evil Chin Cleft Bastard! Reminds me of my P.E. teacher who gave me a C in P.E. because I “did push-ups like a sissy girl.” To which I exclaimed: “I am a girl! I’m not built to withstand this kind of strenuous physical activity! “ 

I hate P.E.  I hate soccer balls, footballs, volleyballs, baseballs, tetherballs, tennis balls; I’ve been hit with every single ball known to man…in the face, in the gut, in the groin (I’m grateful I’m not a boy. If you punch a girl in the groin, she feels nothing! HA!), on the butt.  I loathe P.E. 

Here I wonder what this post has to do with books. Time to make a far-fetched Lit Connection. 

The Karate Kid is the ultimate YA novel in movie form. Its got everything: a sensitive hero, bullies, a romance, a token Asian mentor who kicks ass and takes names. For this reason, whenever I read a John Green novel (Looking for Alaska, Paper Towns, etc…), I immediately envision Ralph Macchio as the main character.  John Green, you know KK is your favorite movie. I bet you own the Criterion Collection. If in your 4th novel, you incorporate a wise Asian mentor, I wouldn’t be surprised.