The following is the result of Twitter banter between Raych from Books I Done Read and Yours Truly. One dare lead to another and several ALL CAPS and !!!!!!!!!s later, we’ve committed ourselves to a summer of cringe-worthy reading.
Raych, prepare to reel! See that unicorn upchucking a rainbow below? I forsee a similar fate in your future. *Cue sinister laughter*
I DARE YOU to read 3/5 of my Horrible Summer Reading Challenge!!!!!!!!!!!
Behold! The Horrible Five:
1. Dawn by V.C. Andrews—Incest, a heroine who is too stupid to live, a grandmother who darts across the room with ‘lightening fast speed’…just a taste of the awfulness you will encounter.
2. Secrets of the Morning by V.C. Andrews—The sequel to Dawn. In my opinion, it’s even worse than Dawn. Muhahah, Sucka! Choose this at your own peril.
3. Evermore by Alyson Noel—I groaned through every chapter of this Twilight knock-off and ditched the drivel halfway. I’m too much of a wussy to ride this horse. If you complete this book, I will erect an alter to your brass balls.
4. Beyond the Wild Wind by Sasha Lord—-Prepare for an anatomy lesson of the purple kind! No noun or verb will go unmodified.
5. SVH Wild Card—Because I don’t know which Sweet Valley High titles your library carries, you have the liberty of selecting a SVH book of your choice. Aren’t I nice? If you can get your hands on SVH: Beware the Wolfman (the one where the twins go to London and face Jack the Ripper who is also…a werewolf AND Elizabeth interviews Queen Elizabeth for the SVH newspaper), I’d be much obliged.
The Hastily Tossed Together Rules:
1. Read 3 out of the God-awful 5
2. Post snarky review on your blog
3. Optional: keep a public diary chronicling your pain. You’re encouraged to whine for the entertainment of all.
Brave souls who want to tackle the list may join in. Just leave a comment down below. Caution: this challenge is not for wusses.
Okay, Raych. I’m ready for your list. BRING IT ON!
You guys are too hilarious!!
By: Eva on July 10, 2009
at 9:08 am
lol, you two crack me up. Thank you for encouraging Raych to read bad books so she can write hilarious reviews for our amusement
By: Nymeth on July 10, 2009
at 12:59 pm
Oh you are so right! I’ve read 4/5 of those insipid books.
To validate my choices, SVH, I was like, 11? And come to think of it, I was around that age when I went through the VC Andrews stage. Ayup, all of Flowers in the Attic series, Dawn series, and I think I even ventured to another before I stopped.
And Evermore? I mean, really, I can’t lie and blame it on my middle school self since it just came out, right? *But* I can blame it on one of my middle school students who was a reluctant reader *and* I was attempting to build a connection. So, yeah, she was reading it. I read it alongside and GROANED to myself the whole time. I rolled my eyes so many times that it gave me a headache.
By: christina on July 14, 2009
at 9:41 am
That is hilarious. Thank goodness I have not read any of the Horrible Five!
By: Rebecca on July 25, 2009
at 5:28 pm
I forgot all about SVH Beware the Wolfman. I read this when I was 9 amd laughed at it then.
By: Natalie on September 5, 2009
at 8:05 pm