Library Loot, Brothel Loot

Library Loot

1. Those Who Went Remain There Still—Cherie Priest

2. Wuthering Heights—Emily Bronte

3. Evermore—Alyson Noel

4. I Heart You, You Haunt Me—Lisa Schroeder

My library loot posts always suck. Creating that Polyvorian masterpiece you see above is not exactly like painting the Sistine Chapel, but it’s pretty close. I’d like to see Michaelangelo tackle Polyvore. He thinks he can master any medium? I bet Michael the Mofo can’t handle Polyvore!

Also, linking. Do you know how many windows I had to open to link these books? Too many. Too many. For this reason, my library loot posts are extremely text-Spartan. In an attempt to beef up my future posts, I’m going to include random bits of crap asides from my everyday life starting with…

My brilliant idea to improve my library. I love my library. It has everything—the latest books, DVDs, free bookmarks, mags, computers, snarky yet judgemental library aides—but one thing it lacks is MEN. Sexy MEN that I can borrow on a 7-day loan.

God, my mind is a scary place; my neurons fire on a diet of books, chocolate, and man love. I’m starting to think that deep down, I really want to follow my dreams and become a pimp. Case in point: I’m seriously considering reupholstering my car interior in leopard.

In America, when you’re a pimp, you have POWER. I’ll rule over my Man-Hoes and He-Bitches with an iron hand!  I’ll discipline my pretties with my skull cap pimp cane if they get out of line. If they back-sass Da Masta (Hi, that’s me), I’ll slap them He-Bitches silly with my purple leopord skin glove or whip them raw with my riding crop.  I got the riding crop idea from Philippa Gregory’s Wideacre.  Everything I need to know about being a pimp I learned from books.  You would think reading would curb my desire to be a pimp. You would be WRONG!  (See, I told you my mind was a scary place.  Depending on the perversity of your own mind, you can either pity or envy my boyfriend). 

If twisted girls like me ran the world, our libraries would become male brothels. You go to the library, browse the shelves for the lastest reads, browse the red light aisle for the MEN.  

Sexxyyy

 

Dashing

Slow mo fog swagger

European male. 

 

Cougar bait

The King. This one is worth the late fee. 

I could keep going, but I don’t want to appear greedy.

This is my mind…

It’s a Bacchanal Carnivale. 

That devious picture of JRM as Henry VIII is me. Replace the three big boobie wenches with three Gaspards in Regency breeches and that’s pretty much a snap shot of everything I strive for in life. 

 

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9 thoughts on “Library Loot, Brothel Loot”

  1. You should definitely include man candy with all of your library loot posts! Mine take a ridiculous amount of time too, especially when I’ve checked out a ton of books. I have to space the editing/coding out over a few days or I get ridiculously cranky, lol.

  2. Oh, my freakin’ GOD! I want to come to your library immediately and check out Jonathan Rhys Myers. If he’s any good, I’ll renew him too. After that, I’d like to borrow Matthew McFayden (or as I like to call him, “Mr. Darsweetiecakes.”)

    I’ll be your first borrower!

  3. I feel like I just read my secret thoughts, hope my husband doesn’t find out!

  4. Rock on – you get yours. There is no reason why you cannot have everything you desire. To the degree that you believe that statement is the degree in which you will achieve what you desire. Think of it as a measuring stick of your faith. Faith not in religion but faith in yourself.

  5. MN: So if I believe I can be a pimp, I CAN be a pimp? Thank you for the encouragement! I’ll measure my faith with my trusty pimp cane!

  6. Is there a running tally of or a cap (god-willing) on the number of times you include the fog shot of Darcy? Glad to see you’re still posting and have attracted such a following.

  7. OMG Jeremy! You’re alive!!!!!!!!!! I thought you went MIA in Europe (?).

    The fog shot. Sigh. Shudder. Sigh. I should get a blow up of Darcy’s fog shot and paste it on my wall.

    Glad to hear from ya!

  8. Oh, my life was incomplete until I saw your blog. You like books, chocolate, movies. You have great taste in guys (gaspard ulliel, nhummmm!). You like diferent eras. Do you know how rare that is in Portugal?

    Do you want to marry me? 😀 Ok, this sounds creepy, but I’m so happy with this blog

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