Nerd in Shining Armor by Vicki Lewis Thompson.
I read this book in part because these Smart Bitches told me to and because nothing titillates me more than a computer programmer with abs of steel! Talk nerdy to me. Do it. Whisper the square root of Pi in my ear. HTML me all night long!
The nerd in this book isn’t really a nerd in the George McFly hee-haw sense. He’s more of a bumbling Clark Kent type; take off his glasses and he’s Superman. Plus, he spends half this book naked, which pleased me very much considering that I read this in snatches of down-time at work and it made the hours tick by faster than the speed of light! Or should I say ‘faster than E=MC2?’ Hee-haw, hee-haw!
Genevieve is a receptionist with a hillbilly past and a plan to bag her sleazy boss. When said boss invites her on a company trip to Maui, she’s already packing condoms and barely-there nighties because this trip is the perfect opportunity to make him SEE she’s the one. But the company sends Jackson, a computer programming masta, as a tag-along on their romantic getaway and Gen’s all shifty-eyed and resentful of said Nerd and his high wire pants until…
*Takes deep breath*
Her boss pulls a pistol on them mid-flight and does some evil Bond villain speech about insider trading and hedge funds and then ZMOG! He parachutes out of the jet and the jet nose dives into the ocean but Jackson, well versed in flight stimulation video games, crash lands the jet next to a deserted island and there’s freaking SHARKS…
*Takes deeper breath*
They make it to the beach in one piece (I think Jackson sucker punches Jaws). Unfortunately or fortunately, Gen’s skimpy sundress is SEE-THROUGH and, because they narrowly escaped death, there’s a lot of rolling around in the sand and honking of the mammaries. So Jackson’s thumbing Gen’s nipples like he’s playing Half Life on his PS2 when she realizes she lost her contacts and he offers her his glasses which she tries on and holyshit!!!, they have the same prescription; they are truly eye twins=soul mates.
Okay. Okay. I think I’ve sufficiently spoiled the hell out of this book and I haven’t even gotten to the part where Jackson starts a campfire with this glasses or the ALBATROSS ATTACK or the part where evil boss shoots himself in the foot and Jackson has to hug him to save his life.
Once I’ve suspended my disbelief, this book tickled me pink with hilarity. Plus, my inner perv appreciates the raunchy parts.
I leave you with a collection of beautiful be-speckled people.