Thirst No. 2

Thirst No. 2 by Christopher Pike

I wish Christopher Pike wasn’t so mysterious so I could have a sneak peak at his wheel-o-plots. I’m convinced Pike works with a random shit generator or else I’m at a loss to explain the WTFery in Thirst No. 2.  Likewise, I secretly worship Pike’s storytelling genius. In the hands of a lesser writer, WTFery dizzies the mind. In the hands of Pike, it entertains the pants off me.

Thirst No. 2 chronicles the ass-kicking adventures of Sita, a five thousand year old vampire, and takes off where the NUCLEAR EXPLOSION vaporized the evil government base in Thirst No. 1.

World weary Sita tinkers with her Medieval-priest-lover’s alchemy force crystals, re-engineers her six stranded vampire DNA, and transforms herself into a lowly human.

Then she becomes preggers. The father, I should mention, is her teen lover who she thought perished in the gas tank explosion from the first book…or DID he?!!!

*Takes deep breath* Okay. So. Sita has the fastest pregnancy this side of Breaking Dawn and expels the demon child in a shower of gore goblets. The child is a modern scientific marvel and grows exponentially within a few weeks to the equivalent of a twenty year old. Also, she is evil incarnate. Also, she THIRSTS…

Meanwhile, Sita’s friend…the nun…experiences an immaculate conception and we learn through an ancient Egyptian prophecy, this child is the next messiah. But wait! Sita’s daughter was sent to kill the messiah and not even a cult with high power assault rifles could stop her. People are defenestrated off of skyscrapers.

See what I mean about WTFery?  Usually vampire stories are more or less predictable but this is so far from predictable it might as well be from another planet. Speaking of the extraterrestrial, this book ends with intergalactic time travel on a SPACESHIP.

I have nibbled on the Wonderland mushrooms and I like it.

A+

Happy Valentine’s Day

I always forget to post during holidays. This year, however, I’ve amassed quite the ‘making out’ photo collection on Polyvore and must share it with you. I celebrated V Day on V Day’s Eve. Today I work until sunset. Yay me! At least I’ve got…a big box of Junior Mints to keep me warm and refreshed.

Sharp Dressed Men

Flavor of the Week.

How much do I love looking at The Sartorialist’s street fashion shoots of sharp dressed men? Were I a man, I would dress part dandy part East Coast professor. In any event, I’ve got argyle socks and corduroy pants on my fashion wish list. Add tweed jackets with leather elbow patches.

Speaking of men, I direct you to last week’s flavor: David Tennant (pictured here in this Heathcliffian stance).

After watching the BBC’s remake of Hamlet here, I am now officially in love with David T.

And here I thought Kenneth Branagh’s 1996 version was the definitive Hamlet. No more. David T. blew Ken B. out of Denmark. Do yourself a favor and watch Hamlet 2K9. It premieres on PBS in April. You can watch it on YouTube right now. Soliloquize with me!

In other news,  I’m No. 1 on my library waitlist for Thirst No. 2 by Christopher Pike. It’s just a matter of days now… Thirst No. 1 had helicopter chases and people blowing up other people. Here’s hoping No. 2 follows up the helicopter chases with MORE helicopter chases.

Finally. I whittle away a lot of spare time coveting dresses. Drool…