A Knight in Shining Armor by Jude Deveraux
Sexy Times in Medieval Climes! Here’s to you Ms. Deveraux! Even though your recent novels haven’t been winners, you wrote A Knight in Shining Armor and CHANGED MY LIFE!!! I will always have a thing for Medieval Men. And need I mention time travel? Stashed somewhere in my basement is a prototype for a flux capacitor and a vial of plutonium. Shh…
When her douchy boyfriend leaves Douglass stranded at an English churchyard, she dissolves into hysterical sobbing at the foot of the tomb of the magnificent Lord Nicholas Stafford. Through an act of God or industrial light magic, Lord Nicholas appears in the flesh and speaks in Shakespearian exclamations like “Reverse your spell, witch. I would return!” Naturally, I am tickled. That is how I speak on Twitter and sometimes in real life so I can relate to Nicholas when people look at me sideways-like in a manner I can only describe as a brew of befuddlement and fear.
Douglass and Nicholas travel around England trying to solve the history mystery of “Who Framed Nicholas for Treason?” so they could save him from the block and ax. In the meantime, we’re rewarded with HILAROUS fish-out-of-water shenanigans like Nicholas being mobbed by a group of camera-happy Japanese tourists. “What manner of weapon were the small black machines these people held before their faces? For that matter, what manner of little people were they who held the machines?”
Nicholas has questions. Lots of questions. Like what is a calculator? “Demonstrate its function!”
He does not like to wear pants. “They do not show my legs, and I have a fine pair of legs.”
He is amused by paper currency. “He will take paper for clothes? I will give him all the paper he wants. He is a fool!”
Okay, enough. As you can see, Nicholas-isms amuse me to no end. Given all the heavy YA paranormal romances I’ve been reading, A Knight in Shining Armor is like the light at the end of a dark and twisty emo tunnel. I read this book when I was thirteen; years later, it still stands the test of time. This is a pre-requisite read if you want to be my book soul mate. *Swings virtual mace.* Read it…
P.S. With every viewing of The Tudors, I’ve superimpose my beloved mental image of Nicholas with the chiseled Romanesque physique of Henry Cavill. Now Henry C. is the pompous pillicock knight of my dreams!