I like to do dramatic readings… Look! Ghostwriter!

Remember my resolution to cease my obsessive web surfing this weekend? Okay. So I couldn’t completely quit the intrawebs cold turkey. The web, my friends, is like crack; you’ve gotta ease the sucker out of your system slowly or else you will prowl the streets searching for gullible iPhone carrying pedestrians to MUG so you could get your greedy paws on their 3G data plan. Oh the sweet sweet release of connectivity! Not that I’ve been prowling the mean streets of Long Beach like The Hamburgler looking for my next Robble Robble.

This weekend, I…

Visited my backyard for the first time in years. We used to have a tree with a swing. This tree is now a stump. When did my dad cut down the tree? Am I that much of a techno-junkie that I failed to notice a missing tree? As you can imagine, I had what amounted to an existential crisis of epic proportions. I sat on the stump and assumed the Thinking Man position. Then I proceeded to ponder many things. When I was done pondering, I was struck by the beauty of a flower. With its petals spread and stamens standing at attention, it was… O’Keefe-y and reminded me of Fingersmith. See how certain books tend to sneak up on you at the weirdest times?

I cruised on a Duffy boat manned by a dock boy named—and I kid you not—Buoy. I’m happy to report that I did not throw up. See? I tend to throw up in planes (don’t ever ride next to me on a cross country flight) and on the bus when I’m riding sideways, also in cars if we’re driving down a winding road. Who knew I had sea legs? My boat trip reminded me of The Witch of Blackbird Pond and other such nautical tales.

It’s finally happened. Someone has asked me to do a dramatic reading! Okay. Since high school I’ve been memorizing random Shakespearian soliloquies and sonnets, Robert Frost’s Fire and Ice, Langston Hughes’ Harlem, and excerpts from Sullivan Ballou’s Letter to Sarah (see Ken Burn’s Civil War Documentary). I like to read my melodramatic 10th grade diary, Raych’s book reviews (I can act out her ALL CAPS better than the Royal Shakespeare Academy!), and the famous first paragraph of The Haunting of Hill House (I use a sinister witch’s voice for this one)  in the HOPES that one day I will be called upon to do a dramatic reading at a wine and cheese party. But can you believe it? This has never happened! Here’s the Catch-22: I don’t get invited to parties BECAUSE I insist on doing dramatic readings. What is wrong with people? Dramatic readings of English Literature as performed by a feisty little Asian girl is, quite possibly, the most entertaining icebreaker ever. Nevertheless my Saturday nights are always suspiciously empty and I think…I think people sneak off to these parties and “forget” to tell me. This time not one but TWO people requested dramatic readings and I delivered. Oh Hecuba did I deliver! *Does Hammer Dance*

Finally, mind your ears. It’s about to get loudGHOSTWRITER SEASON ONE IS ON DVD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The DVD case is modeled after the team’s case book. I wore a pen around my neck and accumulated a stack of marble composition books because of this show. And need I mention how many times I dreamed that something untoward would happen to the actress who played Tina so they could cast me as a slightly younger Tina (um…nine year old Tina) so I could smooch with Alex in the dumpster?!!

Oh Alejandro Fernandez! I will befriend Gaby and put up with Lenny’s hats and visit your family’s Bodega for a chance to wear your Dragon B-ball jacket! I love you more than JTT.

I even love you more than Benny from The Sandlot who could have been your sexy cousin if Ghostwriter had survived to Season 4. But sadly, it was not to be.

I leave you with my favorite Ghostwriter line as first spoken by a young Julia Stiles in the “Who is Max Mouse?” episode.

“Can you jam with the console cowboys of cyberspace?”

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10 thoughts on “I like to do dramatic readings… Look! Ghostwriter!

  1. “He’s a ghost, and he writes to us…Ghostwriter.” I totally hearted that show. Remember how he went back in time, and then stayed in that notebook for like, 70 years? Awesome.

  2. J.T.
    Yes I do! The episode was called “Back in Time” and I only know because PBS played Ghostwriter reruns back to back. Plus, I have a crazy photographic memory. Anyways, Ghostwriter traveled back 1928 to try to save a little orphan boy. That boy will eventually grow up to be a heart surgeon who will operate on Jamal’s dad, ergo, saving the boy saves Jamal’s dad saves Jamal’s existence. This show makes you think!

  3. Bravo on your dramatic readings! I admire your ability to get up in front of a crowd and perform. While I may be awesome at such things in my head…yeah, it’s usually not pretty when I actually have to do it in real life.
    You and I seem to be opposites with regards to technology. For whatever reason, I rebelled against it (I’m a Luddite!). I didn’t get the internet until I went off to college, didn’t have a cell phone until the end of my junior year of college (I still can’t believe that), and somehow managed to get through graduate school without really using a computer other than to type papers.
    I’m starting to slowly come around though there’s alot to learn about this blogging world!

  4. bluemoonmagnolia: I want to be a semi-Luddite. I’m not an extreme Techno-junkie like some of my friends and co-workers. In fact, people still think I’m old school since I refuse to text. Otherwise, I have my hands in too many virtual cookie jars and now is the time to cut back. It felt so good, so healthy, to go outside and not be chained to my laptop.

  5. Oh lord, you pulled out the Mike Vitar Sandlot picture! I was crazy for him.

    I’m so rushing out for Ghostwriter season 1!

  6. It does feel good to get outside and forget about everything for a while. I think semi-Luddite is a good place to be. Actually, I think I may have lost my status as a legit Luddite by starting a blog….I’ll join you in semi-Ludditism 🙂

  7. PS, I had that picture of David Lopez (Alex) poster on my teenage wall… I was addicted to Bop magazine!

  8. Wendy: I need to post about The Sandlot for some random non-book related reason. In fact, I need to update my worn VHS copy to a DVD. After all these years, Mike Vitar is still hot! Is that wrong?

  9. Funny you should ask… I was just thinking about Benny a few weeks ago (along with Rufio from Hook) and asked my friend, “I’m 31 years old. Is it gross that after 15 years I still look at them as totally hot, despite the fact that they are 14 year old boys??” That would be quite a blog!

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