When I was seventeen and a senior in high school I had a huge crush on Jonathan Rhys Meyers (Before he was famous!). I was so infatuated with JRM, particularly his character Steerpike in the TV mini-series Gormenghast, that I was inspired to write a poem, er, about Steerpike, not so much about JRM in general. I guess you can call this “fan poetry.” I’m not a poet nor do I like writing poetry. I only like poems that rhyme because it just seems like it took more effort. This poem rhymes and it took an entire afternoon. Rhyming is hard! I never told my friends I wrote this; I was already winning all the departmental awards, I didn’t need to add “poem inspired by hot Irish actor acting as my muse” to my resume of nerdy accomplishments. Now that it’s cool to be a nerd, I must share: behold! My one and only poem!