Old Maid

So folks are telling me I’m getting old. Granted, a lot of the folks I know (bless their bitter little hearts) tend to be assholes and extremely age obsessed. Allow me to recreate a scene from my real life. This is my embittered co-worker giving advice to naive co-worker: “You better get a ring on your finger soon or you’ll end up an old maid like TY.”
Being naturally spunky, I’m all: “I age like fine wine, you !$#^%#$.”
Whereas embittered coworker counters with, “Wine from the Titanic that nobody wants.”
My reply: “Wine from the Titanic is the best wine of all!”

I’m only 27 and as much as I would like to retire from the workforce, the fact that I can’t collect Social Security means I’m not that old. I’d be the first to admit that for a large part of my early twenties, I lived in fear of reaching 30. My obsession with The Witch of Blackbird Pond is partly to blame since Kit Tyler and her cousins got hitched by the ripe old age of 16. Now that I’m almost 30 and surrounded by 21-year-olds dreading 23, I don’t see anything wrong with being a 30 or 40 or 50 year old woman, single, childless, and LIKING IT. So I’ve been going around telling people I can’t wait to turn 30 and the response is always a baffled, sometimes horrified WHY??? They think I have very warped ideas. I think society is warped. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a Jane Austen novel and that’s not a good feeling.


9 thoughts on “Old Maid”

  1. You are not old. And I greatly admire your embracing of the very natural process called AGING. I used to dread twenty-one because then I would be older than Elizabeth Bennett, who, after a bit of coyness, told Lady Catherine that she was “not yet one-and-twenty.” I too am a ginormous Witch of Blackbird Pond fan (Nat Eaton ranking about even Gilbert Blythe as my ideal man) but I am happy to say that I still feel like the exact same girl who first had the book read to her at the age of 8. You are right…life, and people, grow better with age.

  2. I came across your blog because I was searching Michael Fassbender out of a moment of self-flagellation and I’ve read your last few posts. I have no reason to say anything to you, but I want to tell you that you’re good; that everything is beautiful. You started your blog on the same month in the same year as I, my name is Ty(ler) and we both love Fassbender in some way (the self-flagellation comment may confuse that, but then that’s another story).

    Just stay strong. Even if this comment gets deleted because you don’t want it on a post, I have no other way of encouraging you, but you deserve to be encouraged. You’re clearly a good person, with a good heart and with the best of intentions, so you should not feel any negativity. And you’re strong. Even if you don’t feel strong, you’re strong.

    Know in your heart that everything is wonderful and that everything you want out of life will come your way.

  3. Hello – I’m Amelia and I’m a lit connection lurker 🙂 i can absolutely relate to this post, being older than 27 and still single. i’ve decided to have fun thinking of witty (and sarcastic) answers to the ever-tiresome question of ‘why aren’t you married yet?’. Among which are “i’m into boy toys” and one of my favourites “it’s more fun to have multiple affairs”.

    Stay strong!

    From an older old maid 🙂

  4. Stumbled across your blog through the magic of internet links and thought I’d add my 2 cents, as a 26 year old who never thought I’d be married by 30 but certainly thought I’d at least be out of college and going steady by now…Today I found out a woman I had pegged at mid 50s is actually 69. As in, about to be 70. My idea of how long I have to get stuff done just expanded by 20 free years.

  5. You’re a sexy young thang! I miss singing les mis songs with you @ work. -panty

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