Library Loot and The Thornbirds

1. A Woman of Substance by Barbara Taylor Bradford

2. Falling by Christopher Pike

3. A Year on Ladybug Farm by Donna Bell

I’ve finished The Thornbirds! That makes 1 book in Jan. All it takes is one good book to break the reading slump. Unfortunately, my book synopsizing muscles have atrophied during my blogging break so if you are unfamiliar with the plot, this make-out montage from the 1983 miniseries should do my work for me.

The Thornbirds has everything I look for in a multi-generational epic: people eeking out a living from the LAND, paternity issues, a manipulative and horny elderly matriarch, and a forbidden love affair with a priest which spawns another paternity issue. After roughly two weeks reading this book, my life has changed in two ways: I started to believe that I was Australian even though I’ve never been down under in the physical sense of the word, I yearned to live on an Outback sheep station and grab a handful of red earth… said dirt will slip through my fingers, my hands will convulse as I stare off into the distance for I have become ONE WITH THE LAND.  Then I remembered that I hate nature and the notion goes poof. Also, I’m on the look out for hot priests.

Speaking of nature, a sparrow flew into my workplace last week and trapped itself behind some cabinets. We could hear it twittering and chirping and flapping its bird wings against the wall. It was a most displeasing sound. Some of us (me) freaked the eff out and stayed far far away from the disease ridden avian demon while the bravest of my co-workers rigged a series of inventions: a bird scoop (a shovel fashioned out of filing folders duct taped to the back of a broom handle), a bird vacuum, etc… All to no avail. The little beast was too bird-brained to see a rescue attempt if it hit it in its simple beaky face. I made a panicked Animal Control call and several hours later, they sent the rescue squad which consisted of one man and a metal pole. I don’t think Animal Control was equipped with nets and whatnot (they deal with dead animals, which would have been the case if the suction on the vacuum was strong enough), so Animal Control guy used our bird scoop and, with prayers and swears, captured the disgusting little creature and shoved it in his pocket. Once outside, Animal Control guy did the Twilight hands and the bird flew away to crap in another office. The end.

One of my co-workers mused that she wished she had a blog to recount this amusing incident. I am the only one with a blog so here it is. If you haven’t already guessed, I hate birds. An arboretum is my idea of hell on earth. Beaks. Talons. Feathers. Beady eyes. Wings. Vile creatures, the lot of them.

I expect a flood of hate mail from falconers and pirates…

Okay. I’m not completely heartless with regards to the avian species, which is to say, I’m not above eating them.

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9 thoughts on “Library Loot and The Thornbirds”

  1. Yay for The Thornbirds! I know I already told you I’m named after Meggie, but I’ll tell you again… because it’s, you know, one of those things that define me. And if someone brings it up, I have to talk about it. It’s an OCD tick or something.

  2. LOL, Father Ralph is the original Father What-a-Waste, as we called ’em back in Catholic grade school. Loved that book–and I’m a big fan of Woman of Substance too. Enjoy!

  3. Can I just say that the bird scenario had me in tears laughing? Seriously, your blog is ah-mazing.

  4. I really enjoyed this Thorn Birds blog post, don’t get me wrong. Very funny, especially the bird story, but I sort of hoped for more from you about what you thought about the book itself.

    It’s always been one of my long, sprawling sagas that I gravitate back to every few years to reread. Especially the scenes about Justine and Rainier, finding their love…moved me more than the Meggie/Ralph story, as those two were always destined for failure as she was single-mindedly oblivious to the facts of who Ralph was, and he was intentionally blind to everything obvious to everyone around him. Hard to pity them.

    I did miss it when it ended, though. But then I found the Outlander books and it got a bit better. I love sprawling, as I saw you do, too. Did you read the Ken Follett cathedral books? Keep up the good work!

  5. […] things I could do with my biology degree, the majority of which involved NATURE and we all know how I have this fear of birds and I’m not too keen on pollen. And even though I AM a beast doesn’t mean I want to […]

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